You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
