gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just gift wrapped bread.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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