HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
