last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
