I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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