His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
