I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
