You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize