conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
