she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
