If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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