Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
