Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
