The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
