I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
