Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
