i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
