dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Alive.
So much puke
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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