we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You are the jesus of drinking
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
