question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
