We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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