I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
