Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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