How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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