She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
