yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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