I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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