Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
