You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
