who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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