So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
