Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
