ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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