Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
