When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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