All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So. Much. Porn.
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