First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
