I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
