I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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