To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
