My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
