so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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