The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think people are normalizing furries
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
