I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
