The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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