how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
