dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
