Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
