I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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