I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
