Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
