I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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