go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
