Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
