apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
