i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
