holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
