I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
