Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
