He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
