Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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