we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
