yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
