So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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