I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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