halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
