happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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