I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
