He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
